Fanfic couldn't exist without cliches. Since K/S is the oldest pairing, it's got the most
cliches and the longest history of using them. Some of these things are so cliche that they weren't
even original the first time they were used. I believe I'm safe in stating that there isn't a K/S
story that doesn't use at least a few of them. You can find them in my K/S stories, you can find them in my favorite
authors' K/S stories, you can find them in your K/S stories. There's nothing wrong with cliches,
not in fanfic. It's part of our tradition!
But they can be overused. As you may have noticed.
So this checklist is provided as a public service.
Notice that although you get one point for each "yes" answer (unless otherwise noted), there's
no scoring. I'm not going to tell you how much is too much. If you use every cliche on this list
once [shudder], you'd rack up in excess of 400 points. If you're comfortable with that, OK.
And please send me this high-scoring story, that is, if you're also comfortable knowing I'll
probably hurt myself laughing at it.
So find your comfort level. Pick a K/S story you like and score it. Set that number as your
maximum when you write K/S. Or pick a K/S story you hate and score it. Set that number as your
minimum when you parody K/S.
Or maybe you'd just like to read through this list, knowing that by doing so, you will have
experienced the essence of the fanfic tradition known as K/S. ***
Does Kirk explain all his former girlfriends in a dismissive way because
nothing to him?
he only had them because he couldn't have Spock?
he did all those
women to hide his desire for Spock?
Does Kirk or Spock scream during sex?
Do both scream during sex?
More than once?
Is Spock's love described as better than any love Kirk has ever experienced before? (5
Is "Vulcan love" described as much better than "human love"? (5 points)
Is the love they share described as perfect? (5 points)
Does Spock call Kirk "James"?
Does either one cry? (25 points)
Himself to sleep? (15 points)
Is it a
single tear? (15 points)
Before sex? (15 points)
After sex? (15 points)
During sex? (50
Is Spock's traumatic childhood an important feature of the story?
Does Kirk take a break in the middle of his shift
To masturbate while fantasizing
To work out in the gym to take his mind off his fantasies about Spock? Is Spock in the gym?
Heh heh heh.